By Janine Milliken
In one week I have managed to walk into a concrete block splitting open my ankle. I have tripped up a step and ended up flying into a closed door resulting in bruises in places I did not know existed. I was then walking and my toe managed to drag itself on the concrete, resulting in my skin being scrapped off, and the wound is so deep it did not bleed. My Doctor is in absolute awe of my mishaps, however the good news is my tetanus shot is up to date because I had one when I had my dog hanging off my nose at 1am whilst sleeping. Oh and I fractured a bone in my right hand by running into a door – thank goodness I am left-handed. So toilet duties could be performed with no problems.
My head is pounding from a migraine and I feel like I have a man in there with a hammer and hammers all day without taking a tea break. I am lying in bed, not moving, hoping that I heal from my wounds and hoping the hammer man falls out my ear.
My brain is sitting in a fog today and refuses to work at 100% and so I am stumbling along trying to read a book but keep having to go back to chapter 1 and start again as I keep forgetting the characters. I had a ‘light bulb’ moment and thought maybe I should go to bed for the day, no sudden movements and hope that I heal up quickly. My one dog keeps sitting on my sore toe resulting in me screaming in the middle of the night.
I gave my Doctor instructions not to look at my toe until he had administered the pain medication, thankfully my Doctor is kind and listens to his crazy patient. On top of all that I walk around at home with no shoes on and have just had to take 10 thorns out of my foot. I am now wrapped in a blanket, in my bed and am not making any sudden movements.
When my Doctor looked at my toe, I saw an injection sitting on the side. I took off running down his passage screaming, ‘no injections’. The nurse and doctor right behind me assuring me that they would not inject me. Did I make a spectacle of myself – yes. Do I care? No. I may have scared a few patients off though.
While at the Doctor there have been 3 thieves trying to get into our car to steal anything. So my dad is tangled in the blind in the Doctor room and I will free him up at the end of the day. My Doctor has told us that he has never had patients that are so entertaining and we literally make his day when we arrive.
Yesterday, I tried teaching my nephew how to study. This was a bit disastrous as we both have a temper, no patience and are stubborn. This ended in a fight, I retired to the bed, my nephew read his phone – and then a miracle happened! I started reciting all the study notes word by word, however, I was not taking the test! Of course I went and recited the study notes, word for word to my nephew which resulted in his face going red, finding his bicycle and cycling over the hill and far away to find the teletubbies. It was either my nephew cycling over the hill or I was going to have a broom up my ass.
I now know about computer science and should I watch the Matrix I will also be able to read between the lines. I am approaching my nephew with care, and a helmet on (to be sure) and very calmly asking if he needs help studying. As a teenager, I do remember my dad beating my bottom with a shatterproof ruler, which shattered, and I will still go and get my money back on that one. I remember trying everything to shatter this ruler as it was almost a challenge for me, however my dad beat me to it. I was more impressed with my dad breaking the ruler rather than my sore bottom. This was my dad teaching me accounts, and after the ruler incident he swore to never teach me accounts again. He kept that promise and I had to teach myself. I remember lots of shouting and then ‘boom’, no ruler. I did surprise my dad the next day, as I passed my Accounts with distinctions, despite being clueless. Even my teacher asked how I passed and she was so mad with me that she made me sit in the front of the classroom from then on. However, I really did relish the look on my teacher’s face when I passed Intermediate accounts and her favorite student did not. I tried to register to write Advanced Accounts but my teacher refused to have me in the classroom any longer……………. Oh my, I must have been an annoying student.
My oldest nephew looks at a math’s problem and tells me the answer without even working it out on paper. I spent an hour with him, trying to get him to explain to me, in English, how he got that answer. Eventually I gave up and resigned myself to the fact I am a writer/reader not the problem solver. Please do not ever give me a math’s problem where a train leaves the station at 09:00 hours, stops for sweets, travels at 120km/hour – what time does the train arrive at the next station? Really, I get nightmares about trains arriving at stations now and my memory just goes ‘nope, move along’, at least the passengers got sweets on their journey.
Right I am off to get into my drama free bubble to keep safe from falling meteors……….. Will keep you updated. Vacancy is still open for Superman to look after me 24/7.
May God bless you and keep you and make His face to shine upon you. Keep the faith right now. We will lose many battles, but we will win the war. Faith, Hope and Love remains and the greatest of these is LOVE. God bless.