It's been a bit of a rough ride and I had reached a point of darkness and joylessness that scared me. My relationship with my partner is still fairly new, though I must say, he has been a rock through all the drama. So..... I decided I had had enough!!! My system was run down, I was not getting over the flu (still not, however, at least it is better that it was) and I could feel myself spiralling down into this darkness.
I went to see a lady that seems at first glance to be a bit off the wall, sat in my car and dreaded getting out, wanting to start the car and just drive out.....she waylaid me and I was screwed... I had to get out and go through with this "appointment".
Starting a bit rough and listening to her yawning all the time, I just thought 'oh well, in for a penny in for a pound" and just let myself go with the flow.
Now two hours later and it seems I was relatively brainwashed...hahahahaaaa.....it all made sense. I need to take care of myself before I can take care of anyone else. So this is my journey of self discovery.
I may waffle on a bit, maybe when I give some history/background.....bear with me. I have to offer some titbit to the gods of OCD to appease their eternal hunger. YES! I am OCD, my happy place is when there are systems and procedures in place and I can clean. Yeah......I am a tad crazy. But this is who I am and many years of straigtening out my twisted mind has brought me to a place that I like, a person that I like.
I am worthy!
I am worthy of respect
I am worthy of love
I am worthy of self love
I am worthy of forgiveness
I am worthy of being heard