By Janine Milliken
My brain has rolled out my ears and I am organizing a lunch for grieving mother’s on Sunday. It is not the time for me to lose my brain as I have to really think and organize myself, although my organizational skills got knocked out of my brain in the car accident.
My nephews were playing Pictionary and the clue was ‘what does Aunty use on her hair’, many things were mentioned hairdryer, brush, clip etc…. when they read the clue it said ‘tumble dryer’. So I said I could try the tumble dryer for my hair, cannot look any worse.
Honestly my brain is not working, I have walked straight into a door and a chair. My phone is going, my facebook is active as I have so much to do but I think I just knocked my brain out my head again when I walked into
the door, which is huge and heavy and sore and cannot be missed (one of those!).
As well as that I think my head is about to explode from a migraine. I am sure if the Doctor put me in an MRI right now he would see the fireworks sparking, if he found the brain in the first place. The first MRI I went for I was so excited they found a normal size brain, which is not in use and could probably be sold on ebay and advertised ‘as new never been used’. I will not describe myself as being blonde because then it will not sell.
My mom and sister are in hysterics over me, I am literally walking from room to room and have no idea what is going on. Apparently I asked my sister to buy me wooden crosses, which have arrived and now I have to pay for them, which is a problem. I also asked for her to bring a whole lot of homemade jewelry and I have no recollection of asking for that either. I am looking at them with my totally confused face and saying ‘what, when, how much.’ I am still confused, then I broke the jewelry box so now I have to replace it as well as buy some jewelry. Flipping sakes, I am a hazard to myself today. It is May and I am obsessed about doing my Christmas shopping and am showing off about it, so maybe that is what is happening. I have confused my own brain with Christmas shopping in May, and my brain is just going ‘what is going on with this chick?’ I am also wondering the same thing. I usually end up running around on the 24th December, paying the hugely increased prices and chastising myself for being so stupid. Now I actually am shopping for Christmas, my brain has shut down. My brain has just gone ‘nope, this is not happening, let’s just shut down for a while and confuse her even more’.
I think it started when I went to the Doctor today and waited 2 hours. I have never waited for my Doctor that long. My Doctor is away on holiday, which he did not pass by me, and he has a ‘stand in’ Doctor and I waited 2 hours. I think my brain stopped working this morning and just has not caught up with itself as yet. I need to have a conference with my Doctor as he cannot take leave without notifying me in writing, twice, and asking if it is convenient for me. It never is convenient to me, so I cannot let him have leave, ever. He has spoilt me as I assume I am seen as a VIP patient, but the reality is he just wants me out of his office very quickly before I am seen or talk to anyone. I usually look like a homeless person and today I had to sit for 2 hours looking like a homeless person. I even give the nurses a fright when I walk in at 0700 hours, they think I am coming to steal from them. At the Doctor today, after a 2 hour wait, I was so excited to see the Doctor I could not stop talking rubbish. My mom had to intervene and tell me ‘shut it’. I have to tell you the story I was telling the Doctor when my mom intervened. I was explaining to the Doctor I had had my tetanus shot because I had climbed over my electric gate and pegged my leg on the spike (I could not stop the story there because I suddenly had new inspiration), I then added ‘wow lucky it wasn’t my boob’. This is when my mom intervened and I was shut up.
My mom is still laughing about my confused face, a whole stack of jewelry sitting around me, a broken box, no money and I am staring at this lot wondering what I was thinking and when did I ask my sister for all this? I do not think I will get the answer today as it is just too hard to think that much.
So I will blame my Doctor for my brain having frozen (like a computer), as he is not allowed to go on holiday. The chair I sat on, in the waiting room, was the nosiest one and because I am hyperactive it was a continuous ‘groan’ from this chair that probably drove everyone else crazy, but they kept away because I looked dangerous and homeless.
I have just been kicked off a site where you write articles as apparently mine were very funny but had no point. I was supposed to write psychology articles but just found them too long, many people criticized me on them and there really are 10 different ways of interpreting psychology. So I turned to humour, in the hope I would get many followers, which I do have. I have to write about humour and the silly things I do as It keeps me laughing and keeps me out of extra trouble, I am already in trouble just not in ‘extra trouble’ right now.
William, who runs this site is an absolute angel and our morbid, naughty humours are so similar, it is hilarious when we get together or send jokes to each other. I laugh for hours if William sends me something. Like the one time he was trying to get hold of me to write my blogs…… he writes something on my facebook like ….. I am looking for Janine, who has gone missing on her unicorn, on another planet somewhere, she thinks she’s a fairy right now so approach with caution. If someone finds her please tell her to get hold of me’. After laughing myself silly, I got hold of him and told that I had finished playing with my unicorn and what could he possibly want from me, the fairy. I must tell you that when William and I met over Facebook, it was a huge explosion, we were having a fight over something stupid, whatsapp messages were flying to me and him from our friends and we made up, grudgingly. However, one day I walked into William’s office, went right up to him and said ‘I’m Janine’ and that was it we were forever bonded. We have the same mind, laugh at the same things and I think he’s absolutely my earth angel. William is the one who encouraged me to write these blogs as he was certain I had the gift and I always made him laugh on Facebook. It took him a while to get me to write my first one, but after the first, I loved it and just kept writing – sure William is like ‘this fairy needs to take time out on her unicorn’.
I would like to wish all the grieving mother’s a Blessed Mother’s day from their beautiful angels in heaven. Mothers and Fathers never lose their child as they are forever bonded by their souls and will reunite again soon. May we all remember the mothers and children gone before us, while we complete our purpose on earth. God Bless and keep you safe.