Where do I start today? We did find the elusive cellphone that was possibly in the puddle, I shall tell you that we found it in my handbag. My handbag is not called the ‘bermuda triangle’ for nothing. I felt like ‘teedle dum’ when I produced the cellphone out my handbag, that we had been looking for, for a couple of days.

Anyway we shall not dwell on that as I need to move forward and pretend I am a ‘normal’ human being. I was at Tin on Friday night, only to be greeted by my friends saying, ‘oh we saw you a week ago and you were drunk.’ Now the funny thing about that, is I do not drink. I only drink coca-cola. So apparently my ‘normal’ personality and way of acting leads people to think I’m drunk as they probably think that no normal person can act in that way. Well I hate to say this but that is my normal way of acting as I am never drunk so let’s let people think about that.

I have had a migraine since Friday and cannot seem to shift it. My head is pounding as I am writing this despite having a pethadine injection. No,I am not a drug addict either. I know people just love to label other people and maybe my label should be ‘plain crazy, no drugs or alcohol needed’.

I went shopping at the Borrowdale Village and a very dear friend of mine tried to hide from me (who can blame her?). It did not bother me, as I joined her in her hiding place and said 'what we hiding from?'. Maybe I am a bit of a crazy person but I do love my friends and I notice when you hide from me.

As for my skydiving days, I have put those on hold for the moment. When my harness got caught on the plane and my parachute collapsed I decided maybe God was trying to tell me something. I do take God seriously and decided to give it a break. Although I miss it terribly, so maybe I better have a chat with God again about falling out the sky with a piece of material holding me?

Also another thing that happened this week is I had a massive panic attack. I do not know where it came from but my heart decided to beat at over 100 beats, I was sweating and I quickly had to find a brown bag to breathe into. I am thinking maybe menopause has kicked in as my body is 45 years old, notice I say my body – my mind is maybe 12 or 13! Maybe I should get an assessment from a psychologist before I decide on that one.

So we are sitting in fuel queues again? I used to sit in them when my children where small and what a nightmare! Try keeping a 3 year old boy with ADHD busy for 3 hours while you sit and wait for fuel. So after suffering trauma from that (climbing out the window, sitting on the roof, throwing bags out the window, deciding we need a pooh!), I will not sit in a fuel queue and have my bicycle now. Although I have to admit that I have not cycled for years, so maybe my nephew will have to come to my aid and actually help me with food, or I can starve.

I was at the Kensington Trauma Centre this morning where I managed to cause mayhem, they shall never forget me. I am sure they just gave me an injection to get rid of me. I have to say their service was brilliant and everyone was polite despite my drama.

I am the queen of drama and maybe that is why everyone remembers me wherever I go. Like when I broke my finger – it had to be the left hand, middle finger. I am left-handed. While the Doctor was trying to fix it, I suddenly had a question. ‘How am I supposed to do a no. 2?, the Doctor did not answer me and five years later the Doctor, who was a stand in, still remembers me.

I am a hazard to myself, but oh the fun I have………. You should join me on the joyride. It can get really funny.

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Arbitrary Thoughts for a Sunday

Beautifully Broken
by Janine Milliken
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I would be in constant hysterics if I lived with you!
William Du Plooy
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